So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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