I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
