david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
