no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
