And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He better not be in your backpack
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
