Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need to calm my uterus...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize