She said her name was "party"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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