the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
