for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I didn't notice because vodka
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize