We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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