he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
