I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
