So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
