Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
