Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im holly from the hills drunk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
