I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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