Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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