I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
