Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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