You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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