omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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