I wannas sexs uuuuu
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
