Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
