Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
