Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
