Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
