Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
