She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
