dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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