Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize