WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
