You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
