you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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