it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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