Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
