im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
is it fun? or sober?
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