i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
