dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
