were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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