I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
