I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
