maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize