you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize