you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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