I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Enjoy the penises
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
