you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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