I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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