grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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