I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
