Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
