He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Me. At least after what I've been through.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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