It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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