You just made me feel so damn special
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
