So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
