Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
