Me. At least after what I've been through.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
