Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize