i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
