Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize