Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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