What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
