i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
