Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize