I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
