margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
