the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize