If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
