i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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