How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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