Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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