Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
